Five Days I Observed Her…Day V Monday, Mar 16 2009 

Day V

The last day it was,
I observed nothing of her.
She was nowhere,
Only her thoughts she left behind.

Every one was searching for her,
Women, men, alike.

She was gone somewhere,
No one knows.
Leaving my pen disturbed.

—————–

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Five Days I Observed Her… Day IV Monday, Mar 16 2009 

Day IV

Fourth day it was,
“Progress day”, let’s say.
Now she opened her frock,
Offering a front view.
Revealing her breasts.

Stares increased,
Hunger increased…

Rest I leave for those,
Who like to imagine things.
I,as a woman, fail as a poet.
I can not describe her posture, then.

Though I have words,
They aren’t coming to the nip of my pen.
Offering hints, I can never do that.
I either say things, matter-of-factly,
Or never utter them, at all.
This, hence, has to be a trouble,
For your brain.
Understand my agony
And forgive me for your pain.

—————-

Five Days I Observed Her…Day III Monday, Mar 16 2009 

Day III

The third day was the same,
She,looking out for men,
Men,looking at her with hungry eyes,
Women,looking at her with shocked eyes,
And me, tracing every ones eyes.

Not once did I see her face,
Not once did she look up.
She only was trying to show everyone,
Her back,
Which she felt, was her “inviting” asset.

This time something had changed.
I observed her while coming back.
This time, the back was exposed more.
Sides of her breasts could be seen.
May be, to fill in an urge to touch them
Will bring men to her, she thought.

For the women staring, it was a shock.
A girl, she must be, of fifteen,
Definitely, not more than seventeen.
Aunties felt, “how could she do that?”.
Girls of her age,
They didn’t even dare to look at her.
“Why is she doing that?”, they thought.
I had no answers, but some general assumptions.
“May be she wants to earn.
May be she is tired of wandering
May be she is hungry for food.
May be she wants to fulfill her bodily hungers.”
Whatever be the reason,
She was the doing what she wanted.

——————-

Five Days I Observed Her… Day II Monday, Mar 16 2009 

Day II

When the next dawn came,
I saw her there.
In the same place,
With the same stance.

I don’t know of if she got the touch,
But was sure of the glance.
Not just men, but women, too,
Gave her that shocked look.
As if they had always been innocent
And oblivious to such moves.

She was in the same green frock,
Unzipped to expose the back,
In a frock, she was,
May be to tell of her being a virgin,
Or for those who choose the least penetrated lot.

Five days I observed her… Day I Monday, Mar 16 2009 

Day I

While on my way to the station,
I saw her lying down.
A tramp she was,
With nowhere to go,
She was lying near the bin.
What stuck me was her dress first,
That showed her open back.
A male, she wanted, to touch it
From others she wanted a stare.

Her hair was so untidy,
I wondered who would approach,
But I have heard of cannibals,
Who feed their hunger with “those”.

——————

Holi Hain!!! Tuesday, Mar 10 2009 

The festival of Holi is here! People around me are so excited about it. I, too, am. But not for the color, not for the fun… I love to see the full moon on the night of Holi… The beauty of night’s reigning queen is beyond human comprehension. 🙂

As usual, I drift from the topic. Why I wanted to write this post was because I wanted to bring into limelight, the festival of colors. People get up early in the morning (normally on a holiday, they sleep for hours together to enjoy the day off). Then they walk out of their houses with loads of color and paint each others’ face. This is the face of the good Holi.

Now lets talk of the bad one. There are some miscreants who indulge in evil deeds. For them, Holi is the festival of enjoyment… of applying color on the cheeks and the body of beautiful women, girls around them… touching them by this means or the other… In fact, for many, Holi is the day when they are licensed to indulge in their licentiousness… of eve teasing… touching their female acquaintances and also those whom they do not know. At times, women complaint… and these miscreants say, “Holi Hain” (meaning I have the right to do this today)…

How, then, do we stop this? Someone tell me… It is for this reason that I do not play with colors on Holi… 😦

Amidst Nature… Friday, Mar 6 2009 

Yesterday, after a long while (of almost 20 days) (* 1 year back, my physician had declared that I was suffering from “bipolar disorder“… and he had consoled me saying almost all artists suffer from this problem.. in fact,that is a sign of a brilliant creative person). So, back to our story, After a long long while, I experienced blues. Blues because I contemplated on my actions and thought patterns of the recent past and I came to the conclusion that I was absolutely disorganized…. least focused towards my goal…unable to do anything, lethargic… and worst of it, I was feeling hopeless.

Let me disclose something from the core of my heart. You know guys, I believe people who are shallow, who engage in trivial pursuits are the lucky ones. They don’t think too much and so they do not know their limitations or frustrations… of course, they pine for something else (which is most of the times, some materialistic goal) but that’s another story. People like me, who know what they are going through, feel all the more depressed. Sometimes, knowing and understanding your inner mind is a bigger danger than anything else, which is what I most of the times go through. 😦

Anyways, I am not here to talk of the negative vibes that I feel. So… back to my blues. I shared this with one of my chat friends. (This is one advantage of your chat list. The people to whom you open your heart aren’t the ones whom you meet generally. So, you can rest assured that you can be absolutely open about anything that goes on in your mind. Hence, I told him everything.) And he suggested I must go out for a walk or have a nap. The lazy person as I am always, I would have rather chosen the second option. But, to my surprise, I opted for the first.

I went for a walk. 😉 Thought, anywhich ways I have lose some extra pounds that I have put on. So, went ahead with a brisk walk to a place where I found nature, full of respite, serene and captivating.

I took my iPod with me, as I didn’t want any human voice to disturb me. I want to be alone, not lonely. 🙂 I listened to those songs which I had heard at least more than 100 times till date. But, yesterday,they sounded different..completely different. I just swayed with the rythm of the songs, the pull of the breeze. Many say, twilight brings gloom and so one musn’t be alone in the evenings. Yesterday, I experienced the opposite. 🙂

I can not word my experience. But I hope you now know what I felt, what I saw, what I heard… listening, eyeing, feeling the breeze… listening, eyeing, feeling nature…. listening, eyeing, feeling the calmer me… 🙂

Positive Energy… Wednesday, Feb 11 2009 

Recently, I was going through a relatively bad phase of my life, as many say. But, I came out of it in a few days and I am now heading in a completely new direction. Change is for the better! 🙂 And it is true. This failure has taught me a lot and I am really thankful to the person who has put me in this situation. I am also grateful to those who’ve shown their concern towards me, stood by me in this low time and made me stand up again.

In these moments of self revelation, I have eyed myself intently and discovered myself in a new way. Never before this have I come across my potential and observed my limitations so clearly. These “low days” have been my best gift ever. They’ve taught me to see the world and more importantly, myself in a new light. 🙂

Now, when I look back, I feel what an idiot I was. A stupid young lady who used to brood over every single thing and throw tantrums for every other. Will you believe (after reading these lines which reveal a flow of positivity) that I was suffering from major clinical depression? I know it’s hard to believe but you have no choice! 🙂

I found out, lately, what has created this new, vibrant me. It is Positive Energy. It is Positive Energy that people around me have gifted me and it is this same energy which keeps me going these days. So much so that, now, I can understand within a second (consciously), who is sending me positive vibes and who is not. 🙂 The simplest way with which I began, was by asking the other person “How are you?”  If this person says, “I am Great! How do you do?” then stay relaxed, this person is full of positive energy and this energy will fill you with the power that you need to go ahead. However, if you get a reply that begins with all the qualms and problems of this other person’s life, then beware. This person has negative energy and you need to stay away. Or else, this person will send you negative vibes and you may lose your soul in melancholy, just as this other person is. And then you get stuck up and so does your work and so does your progress.

I understand, the first question that rises, asks, “But if a person is fragile at heart? then?” Let me tell you, even I was the same kind. But now I have changed. Once you start gathering positive energy from all ends, you also start becoming one of the sources of positive energy. Your negative energy starts diminishing and your heart becomes stronger. Once the heart, the mind stronger and positive, you never have any negative emotions or qualms towards anything. Tell me your experiences… Awaiting…..